Google News in a parallel universe

Excellent spoof using Google News. In this Universe all the world’s problems are solved!

The Future Of Food (2004)

Synopsis (possible Spoiler): THE FUTURE OF FOOD offers an in-depth investigation into the disturbing truth behind the unlabeled, patented, genetically engineered foods that have quietly filled grocery store shelves for the past decade.

Admittedly, this is a one-sided documentary on our food sources and the food we eat. It still shows the disturbing reality of the foot markets in the world. Watch it, even if you don’t believe it all.

RT 84% (25 reviews) IMDb 7.9/10 (over 300 votes) Domestic Gross: $81,280

Bella (2006)

Synopsis (possible Spoiler): Still a stranger to her own body, a high school student discovers she has a physical advantage when she becomes the object of male violence. |

This one was a lot of fun! I didn’t expect much. Basically a glorified B-movie. Well, that’s what it is, really. But I liked the acting, as over-the top it was in some scenes. A nice surprise to see John Hansley in anything other than Nip/Tuck. After being almost done with assimilation into the American way of thinking about Sex (instead of teaching our youngster on how to have safe sex, we teach them how to not have any sex at all, yeah, right) the movie was even more effective. In Europe it would probably be seen as a fairytale. It has some gory scenes, and, for me, strikes a good balance between being funny and disturbing.

RT 80% (54 reviews) IMDb 6.0/10 (over 3000 votes)

The Forbidden Kingdom (USA 2008)

It was nice. Not really engaging in either the story line, the fighting or towards the characters. I was not disappointed expecting a certain amount of overacting from Jackie Chan and the Hong-Kong movie genre in general (and bad wigs too).

There sure were a lot of people hanging on wires! I just got bored after the first half of the movie, and the fact almost all scenes are spoken in English doesn’t necessarily help (what’s Gong Fu?).

There must be a love story in there somewhere, or a buddy story, or a teacher/student story. None of them worked for me – it was a bit of everything, and not enough of anything. Well, except for the fighting. Great ideas and excellent choreography made that part of the movie fun (hence the 3 and not 2 out of 5).

Oh, and in places the Soundtrack sounded like an old Western classic. (Job well done, if it was intentional).

Anyways, it’s just about perfect for a Saturday afternoon, but not a keeper, at least not for me.

Fair rating at RT 62%, way too high on IMDb 7.3/10

(3 out of 5)

Don’t bother: Black Water (AUS 2007)

I was intrigued by the premise of the film. Stuck in the Australian outback with only crocks around. I was hoping for some interesting ideas (as there really is no story to build upon). Granted, it is based on real events, but still, as a movie it’s just not that interesting. There were some scenes I enjoyed, simply for the fact that the movie is all about ‘things jumping into camera’ from all kind of directions. Almost all of the movie happens with people sitting in trees. Once again, my taste seems off: RT 79% IMDb 6.1/10

Twins separated at birth?

Laura and Garfield

Twins separated at birth?

Keith Richards and Miss Marple

Twins separated at birth?

Jack Nicholson and E.T.

Don’t bother: Black Sheep (NZ 2007)

I have no idea how this movie was rated so highly on RT 71% and IMDb 6.1. It’s not like I didn’t want to watch it until the end, but it was close. I lost pretty much all interest after the first 20 minutes and just continued watching to see what kind of gore effects they could come up with. It’s really a one-gag movie. And it might work for people who have seen sheeps in the last 12 months – for all other people, pass it on… not worth the time.

Twins separated at birth?

Paula Abdul and Michel Serrault